Self-compassion is about treating ourselves with kindness when we are facing challenges. Unfortunately we are quick to negatively criticise our situation or efforts rather than offering ourselves support and encouragement. When thinking about self-compassion, I want you to imagine how you would treat or support a friend in a similar situation. You would acknowledge their emotions, let them know they’re not alone in their suffering, and possibly offer words of kindness or acts of comfort to support them. So why shouldn’t we do this for ourselves too?
When we engage in self-compassion we activate our internal soothing system, which works to regulate our emotions and thoughts. Through clear thinking, we can engage in drive actions to problem solve and discover solutions that are within our control in a situation. Without regulating our emotions, our threat system activates and we become stressed and overwhelmed which can negatively impact our thoughts and behaviours. We become more self-critical in this loop which only decreases our psychological and physical wellbeing.
As parents we will constantly fall into negative thought spirals like “I’m not doing enough. I yelled. I haven’t played enough”. But it’s important to remember the perfect parent does not exist, we only have to be good enough. Throughout your journey with us, I want you to practise self-compassion by treating yourself like your own best friend and looking at your challenges as learning opportunities rather than failures.