Hey all! 

Thanks for joining at the beginning of my journey here.

So I wanted to step in, do this informally, and provide a little more about myself and my journey. I will jump on socials and do some video content for this too, as I know we all love the ease of watching things, however what I wanted to do here was to give an unedited version of my story and explain how I will be sharing things. I have popped some headings in so you can read this all, or you can jump to the parts you are intrigued about.

So I am writing these blogs amongst my parenting days, finding little gaps in time to jump on, type out what I know from my work, study and personal experience. So in knowing this, I want to put a full disclaimer here that these posts are proofread by yours truly, in whatever state I am in that day! Yes I am a parent of 3, I am human too, I will make mistakes and miss typos, or sometimes I will just seem like I blab along. Welcome to my world! Please be patient with me and I am sure you would prefer frequent posts rather than a month between each perfectly curated post.

What I will be sharing

Ok so, I have made a choice given my privacy, the privacy of my children and family that I will not be including my children in the content on a frequent basis. I am sure many of you would like to be on this journey with our family, however I have rarely posted their lives on my personal pages, let alone using them to build my brand. I am also conscious that I am a practicing Psychologist and I would like to keep some of my own life private in this space.

But this does not mean that I will not be sharing my ups and downs in a more broad approach. I will also be using my experiences to inspire content here on the blog as well as on social media. When it comes down to it, everything I share will be what I would be willing to share in a session with a client; showing my human side whilst respecting the confidentiality of my children, husband and family. I hope you can understand this.

My story, before children

I moved to Brisbane from my home town to study Psychology at the University of Queensland. What a ride this was! I don’t think I was ever truly prepared for the long haul that becoming a registered psychologist would be until I was in it. There were so many moments that I would have to redefine what it meant to apply myself in uni, learn in new ways and write to each course differently. A turning point for me was in the first year that I failed my first assignment ever. The perfectionist in me was like what the heck, how did this happen? From that moment I knew I would have to change the expectations I had on myself and really start to give myself some kindness when it came to successes and losses in the uni process. When I finally got to fourth year, and was in the midst of thesis life, I did not know how I was going to get through the year. That is when I decided to book a working holiday in Canada to leave at the end of the year. So that I did, I branched off on my own, and started the most amazing adventure of my life. So many things happened in this pathway of my life that made me question what I was doing, who would stick by me and also I started to learn about my own self worth.

After returning home after an amazing first season working in the ski fields and travelling with my new friends, I just knew I wasn’t done. I had secured my first job working within child safety and I enjoyed the challenge of this. However, overseas was calling me again, so I did it, I left and this really was the beginning of my new pathway.

It was in this season away that I met my now husband, and we started a journey of the next 4 years hopping between Canada, England, Australia and Japan. We got engaged when we were working in Japan and from there we decided to come back to Australia, for me to finally start the process for registration as a Psychologist and plan our wedding, which we had in England in 2017.

The transition back to Australia brought many personal challenges that have led me to have a new understanding for myself, my relationships and what I value most in my life. 

My work history

When I returned to pursue my registration though the 4+2 pathway, I was lucky enough to find a position within the government with Disability Services. I was placed on a behaviour support team and from here I would begin the craziness that is supervised practice on the 4+2. I had watched many of my friends go through this, and was daunted at beginning the process myself, but I could not have had a better experience doing it within the disability space. This is a photo from my first official day as a Psychologist, my husband always likes to share this one as the anniversary comes around.

My main area of work was within functional assessments and writing behaviour support plans for individuals; children and adults who displayed complex and challenging behaviour. The investigator in me really enjoyed getting to know the individual, their family and support network to really get individually tailored support strategies that would work for them, rather than just throwing any strategy to them and hoping it would work. This work was difficult at times, and sometimes change was very slow; however it made those successes even more special to be a part of and witness. I continued this work throughout my entire 4+2 pathway, and also engaged in therapeutic interventions for individuals with co-morbid disability and mental health diagnoses. I worked with both adults and children, and throughout this I always found myself trying to tailor the approaches to what truly interested my clients as well as adapting therapeutic processes and slowing things down to ensure they were getting what they wanted and needed from each session.

My transition to the world of perinatal psychology came some time after the birth of my first child (the story of which I will get to next) and my return to work when he was 13 months old. I had received my general registration over my maternity leave…perfect timing I know! I was not going into labour until that portfolio was handed to my Supervisor! Anyway, back to the point of this; I reached out to Carla Anderson (Perinatal, Child and Family Hub), and I was given the amazing opportunity to join her team in the new practice she had set up here on the coast. This was the best decision I had made. I have been supported in so many ways to grow to be the Psychologist I am today.

I have completed training through the Centre for Perinatal Psychology; including the courses; Perinatal and Infant Mental Health; and Bearing the unbearable. The knowledge that Bronwyn and Carla brought to these courses just had me hooked and I could feel that same passion for supporting families in the perinatal space rising within me. I knew I had made the right decision investing in this training and making the decision to work in this space.

Over my time working as a perinatal psychologist, I have had two maternity leaves; each of which have been completely different to each other. My work days and hours have fluctuated over the last 3 years, however I have always felt truly supported in my roles and knew with each stage of life that this was the world of psychology that sat right with me. 

So why do I like it so much? I love the pace of the work, I love slowing down with a family and helping them truly understand how they have got to the place they are in right now and make value led goals for where they would like to go. I utilise a number of frameworks within my practice including but not limited to; Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), attachment and trauma informed practice, Mindfulness and writing therapy.

You may read this and think, ok great what does that all mean? My approach is not uniform, it is dependent on the individual that is sat in front of me and I take into consideration personal history, presenting concerns and goals for therapeutic intervention. My main aim is to hold space for my clients and to give appropriate psychoeducation and support strategies to assist them in their journey. I love being part of a team that is committed to the support of perinatal clients and their families and seeing the changes that can be made.

There is no earlier intervention than supporting parents throughout pregnancy, planning for their adjustment to parenthood and assisting them put in support and boundaries to protect their wellbeing and personal journeys. I am well and truly aware that some do not present until after the baby is born, and in some cases a year or so after. It is never too late to commence therapy to process your journey and to set you up for the future. There is no wrong time to start the process, just know that there are teams out there that are willing to support you, and making the first step to getting a referral and walking through the door is one of the hardest parts! This is something I always congratulate my clients for doing, it is a huge step.

I truly love holding the infant's mental health in mind, and raising awareness to the notion of this to parents and families. This is one of the messages I would like to share more and more with you, to know just how important it is to acknowledge the experience of the baby and child in the world around them. More on this later!

Family life

Ok so yes I am a mum of 3…boy, girl, boy. It is busy, it is chaos, it is full of love and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yes there are days that I just feel so unmotivated, there are days I yell, there are days I am so creative and feel like I can take on anything. This is all part of the human experience. Look at this, I am typing this blog out whilst my eldest is watching Pokemon on repeat, yep I feel guilty for all of the screen time, but I also and proud of myself for trying to create something alongside my role as mum, and I know I will engage more after I sign off from this. But look at this, my mind drifts off to the guilt, the guilt for not devoting more time to play, and guilt that I should be sitting with him. I choose to let this go right now! Also so I can get back on track to writing my story.

My first pregnancy was great, I felt amazing, I moved at the gym until 36 weeks, I thought I had things ready, we did hypnobirthing and were prepared for the delightful calm birth….fast forward to 38 weeks and I was told I needed to be induced because my baby was ‘too big’. Long story cut short, I was induced, it was long (32+ hours in the birth suite), at one point I was dressed for a c-section, then I wasn’t, I had an epidural (which I hated due to the sensation of being out of control), I had countless physical exams, but eventually we welcomed our boy into the world. I feel like my postpartum experience with my first needs its own blog, so I won’t go into it too much just now, but I can tell you it was filled with guilt, shame, frustration, anxiety but also immense pride in our baby and love for being his mum. It was a very confusing time where I just wanted the best for him, but my brain fog and emotions just clouded me. It wasn’t until I was a few months postpartum that I truly understood the extent of how I felt.

This brings me to my second pregnancy, again it was planned and I knew all the areas that I wanted to prepare for. I was lucky that physically it was another great pregnancy, I was at the gym until 37 weeks and I began my journey seeing my own perinatal psychologist to help my preparations for my second postpartum. I can truly say that this helped my adjustment the second time around. I knew I wanted to just surrender to couch time, snuggles and reaching out for help. I finally learnt to ask for help, and most importantly I could say yes when it was offered! The end of the pregnancy was eventful, with my husband having a knee injury when I was heavily pregnant, having surgery and then only being cleared to walk the day before I was induced. Let's just say that was an experience! And yes I was determined to not be induced due to my experience last time, but I got to 40+10days and there were concerns that my placenta was failing. So there we were again and this began the feelings of failure and sadness as I would not feel that feeling of going into labor. My preparations for this alongside my psychologist helped immensely. I was able to focus on what was in my control and I was empowered to ask for certain support around my induction. We had a much better experience this time around, with a quick labor, induction medication turned off and my body finished this naturally. However it was too quick to get into the bath, so I missed water birth again. However I was so happy with the process, we had a 6 hour discharge and went to a beautiful hotel by the water to enjoy our newborn bubble with the sound of the ocean and our little man was able to come and go to join in the delight with us. This was the best decision we ever made and I felt it truly healed me from my first experience.

Third pregnancy, well this one was a wild card, physically and emotionally I was challenged to a whole new level. Chasing after two kids, my own chronic pain difficulties in my back and hips and preparing for life with 3 was full on. It may have been my hardest physically, but I still remained present in the gym until I was 40 weeks, knowing that my mental health benefited from this majorly. We got to 41 weeks and I was determined to go into labor naturally, and we did it! After a stretch and sweep I knew throughout the day that something was happening however I may have been in denial. I went to a party to celebrate 18 years in private practice for Carla, played some mini golf, and knew I needed to leave. I left at 7:30, home by 8 and was leaving for the hospital an hour later, only to welcome our third bub at 11:06pm! This was such a fun story and we were stoked with our birth, just myself, my husband and midwife in a water birth at last! We were so ready for this postpartum experience, ready to give in to it all whilst juggling our oldest 2. However, the universe had other plans, in the first 3 months there were 5 emergency visits, 4 via ambulance, and 3 admissions. It was a rough ride and another topic which deserves its own blog, but we can tell you this…we well and truly practiced what we preach in terms of embracing the ups and downs.

 

So that is a brief journey through our 3 pregnancies and birth experiences. All uniquely different, challenging and beautiful at the same time. We can look back on each one and be able to delight in the journey we have had. 

Future Plans

Our chapter has closed for welcoming new lives into our little family, and we will be settling into life as a family of 5. So we are embracing the last of the firsts and it is heartbreaking as well as beautiful, and we are appreciating every little moment. 

So I hope this has been a somewhat interesting insight into my journey so far and how Dear Dahlia came to be. Sorry if it was long….I did warn you! 

The start to Dear Dahlia is slow and steady, we are still being so present in the life of the baby and enjoying the last firsts and watching our older two grow and reach their milestones. Products are being developed, samples are being perfected and our launch will happen in the early New Year.

I would love to get feedback from you regarding any blogs or posts I share, and would love to know what content you would like to see more of.

Here’s to the journey for all of us

Erin xx